I know perfectly well that complaining about the growing presence of generative AI and muttering darkly to anyone who will listen that “they’re watching us” is giving tinfoil-hat survivalist whom everyone avoids in the checkout line at the grocery store. But honestly, thanks to the ubiquity of Ring cameras, data brokerage, and facial-recognition technology, sundry forms of surveillance are now a regular part of modern American life. My anxiety about one day living in a Big Tech–enabled police state is real—but for the most part, it hasn’t actually altered the way I live. I use a data-scrubbing service to keep as much of my personal information offline as I can, but that’s primarily because I write for the internet and people frequently get mad enough at me that I’m vulnerable to doxxing campaigns. But beyond that, I remain glued to my unethically made iPhone, I attend political protests with my face and tattoos visible (to anyone reading this: Please do as the ACLU says, not as I do), and I frequently supply my full name and email address to access questionable miscellany like a 5% discount on my dog’s small-breed kibble. I know I need to do some work to untangle myself from the surveillance culture I fear and decry, but I’m nothing if not a lover of shortcuts, so when I was given the opportunity to try out some products from Ohmni, a clothing line launched in 2025 by musician M.I.A. with the goal of “safeguarding personal privacy and autonomy by offering items designed to block electromagnetic frequencies,” I couldn’t resist learning more. Here, at last, were cheekily literal tinfoil hats and anti-facial-recognition balaclavas that draw inspiration from the style of groups like…the Irish Republican Army. No, I don’t always agree with M.I.A.’s politics, to say the least, but