Our teen daughter is a deeply sensitive, perceptive kid who longs for close friendship but often feels sidelined; she reads slights quickly, ruminates and compares herself harshly. Her 16th birthday was heartbreaking: the in-person warmth and social-media love she expected didn’t materialise, and she’s crushed. We try to parent with empathy and backbone, validating her feelings while nudging her towards agency: widening her circles, getting busier and repairing frayed ties without begging for approval. But how do we wisely accompany a teenager whose self-worth is repeatedly tested by imperfect peers (in her mind at least) and the distortions of online recognition? What practices, language and boundaries help a highly sensitive adolescent convert disappointment into dignity and build friendships rooted in mutual regard rather than constant self-surveillance? Eleanor says: I hate to think of how many other sensitive, clever kids have shared your daughter’s experience. You put it well; your own worth gets tested because peers don’t respond the way you’d like. It can set off a chain reaction: you wonder whether it’s them who sucks or you. This makes friendships feel unstable because either you haven’t got many or you get them by approval-seeking – as if you have to whittle off bits of yourself. And that whole package can push you online, because when you don’t get real recognition for who you are and how you’d like to be valued, you’ll accept simulacra. You want to be seen but you’ll settle for views. You want to be liked but you’ll settle for likes. One reassurance: time might help. The more unusual you are, the more unusual it is to find people like you, necessarily. School isn’t a good reflection of how well that will go, because your company at school is just a fistful from the same geographic or